L is for the way you are confused off your a**

September 14, 2010 § 3 Comments

Love. It’s tough. How many songs, how many movies, TV shows, books, and paintings and poems have been inspired by the wrenching feeling that comes with rejection, with the feelings of unrequited – even requited! – love? Enough to realize that no matter how much experience one has (whether you met your significant other in high school or were spit out the other end of the dating machine), we all feel like we know what it’s about. Love. What the fuck is that shit all about?

Love is awesome. The love you feel from your family is essential. The love of friends adds spice to your life. But the love from a significant other is a different beast. When done right, love can leave your heart feeling physically squished at happy or sad times, make you do/say/try things you never thought you would, and leave you generally feeling like you’re walking underneath a sunbeam. Many claim (and I stand firmly behind them) that family and friends come first. Whether you like it or not, they are the foundation of your personality. So what of significant others then? Everyone these days is happy to point out that we don’t NEED a significant other. We are just happy to have someone along for the ride. But I have problems with this need/want business, especially where dating is concerned.

It’s not so much that I disagree with the need/want difference, because I am a self-sufficient career girl. I make my own money, pay my own rent, have my own car, and the shoes on my feet baby, I BOUGHT THEM. Whatever. I have problems with how confused this shift has left everybody. We are supposed to be open-minded when we’re “OUT THERE” (you know, in the wild jungles of single life with the other untamed, growling, beast-like singletons), yet we’re not supposed to settle. But you know what I said about not settling? Yeah you can’t be too picky either! And like if you don’t feel chemistry, maybe it’s because you’re being too picky, and you can’t muster any attraction to this person because you’re thinking of an ideal person that doesn’t exist in real life? But don’t think about going out there without having an idea of what it is your looking for, but like you know bring it down a notch. Be willing to compromise on what you want, but you need to have definite dealbreakers. But like so when you have dealbreakers you should re-evaluate them to see if you’re being unreasonable, you know like picky? You know what I mean? You have to put yourself out there, try all avenues, but don’t be desperate going everywhere looking for a guy you know? Maybe you’re not trying enough? Or maybe you’re trying too much? It’s enough to leave you dizzy.

Maybe we should just stop the insanity, and agree that LOVE is not governed by a definite set of rules that, if followed exactly, will give the same result every time. It’s about letting the chips fall on the table and knowing what to do with them. You meet someone you are attracted to (is it too much to ask that I want to kiss the guy? IS IT?!), who shares certain fundamental values with you (like when Monica and Richard taught us a bit about the desire to have kids), and who’s willing to make compromises along with the compromises you make to be together and make the journey of this mad-ass world together. The end.

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