September 27, 2010 § 1 Comment
I’ve realized one thing in the last few months: life really tests your faith. I’m not talking about religion, because I’m not that religious, though I’m sure it tests that too. I’m talking about your faith in humanity, your faith in justice. Can anyone tell me why chivalry is dead? Why everyone is in such a hurry? Why people are so unhappy? That includes me. I can tell you why I’m so unhappy. Because it’s days like today that make me doubt that there is a shred of community, happiness, and joie de vivre left in people.
Before I continue, I want to apologize for the negative tone of this post, because I never intended this blog to be about anything negative – although a previous post has taken that turn. Basically, I try to keep it at a minimum here because lord knows it’s everywhere you turn these days.
A neighbour of mine (apparently since I’ve never seen her and hope never to run into her again and hope she isn’t maiming my car as I write this) just told me off. In front of her children. As I was standing in the rain, struggling to balance my umbrella in between my shoulder and my chin while carrying two big bags of groceries and a carry on I had from this weekend’s trip back home. Why? Because APPARENTLY I stole her *QUOTE*spot*UNQUOTE*. But folks, I didn’t, and in the words of Dane Cook, let’s Tarantino it.
Let me paint you a picture of my narrow street before I continue. It’s a bunch of semi-detached and smaller detached homes, mostly with laneway parking behind the houses, and a lot of street parking. I turned onto my street, drove half-way down the block (where my house is located) and noticed that lo! There are no spots available! What a surprise! This doesn’t happen all the time but peeves me when it does, HOWEVER. I internalize it and grumble to myself as I trek home from the neighbouring block (I know, I know, whiny) because what can I do? Do I have a spot assigned to me, in my name? No. I do not. Nor does anyone else who parks on the street. That is the democratic system that is zoned parking. We all hate it on rainy, snowy, cold days. We’re all in this together.
So how on earth did we get to the scene of me stealing her *QUOTE*spot*UNQUOTE*? I’m glad you asked. I was grumbling to myself about not having a close spot on a rainy day when I had four bags (two grocery, two travel) to tote up to my place as I turned the corner on my street for the second time. There she was, a car, indicating to the right, where people park on my street, IN FRONT OF AN EMPTY SPOT. Let me repeat that, SHE WAS IN FRONT OF AN EMPTY SPOT. So I swerved around her as I saw another spot 4 cars ahead of where she was stopped. IN FRONT OF AN EMPTY SPOT. I parked my car and noticed a car inching closer to me. I figured it was another car. I was like please drivermanwomanwhoeveryouare, just let me park and I’ll give you enough space to do so behind me. And I did. Park that is. Apparently there wasn’t enough space behind me but that’s not my fault. I didn’t create cars and the sizes they come in.
I get out of my car, balancing my umbrella between my shoulder and my chin, toting my heavy travel carry-on-tote, grab my groceries, and walk toward my trunk when I hear a sound. I turn around thinking what was that? Then I hear “yeah you lady!” I turned again, completely confused as to what was going on, when the neighbourly soul who thought I was un-neighbourly yelled at me for being rude and stealing her spot. So I said what I’ve been all-caps-ing this entire time: I thought you were waiting for that empty spot. Apparently she wasn’t. She sealed it with another yelling spree of blablablayou’reveryrudeladyblabla, and backed up. Leaving me in the middle of the street, balancing my umbrella, groceries, carry-on, in the rain, completely confused as to what just happened.
This after I spent 15 minutes being cut off by other cars at the gas station because apparently there are no lineups for pumps as I was so foolishly lining up for. Line up? Why would anyone do that! It’s every car for itself in this world! This after a guy nearly sideswiped me as I attempted entering the aisle on the plane ride home. 1 small step for douchebaggery, 1 more nail in the coffin for chivalry. I’M the rude one. The pushover is the rude one.
But wait, I haven’t told you the best part! I went about my business, and walked the 10 houses between my spot and my house, and waited to see where she was going to go. Because I figured, she must be like me, angry at the fact that I stole her chances at parking closer to her house. What else could spark a tell-off like that? But she didn’t walk 10 houses down. She didn’t even walk 5 houses down. She was parked 2 god-damned houses away from where she lives. Boo effing hoo. Was the outburst worth it? Because you had to take 15 steps instead of your usual 5?
Sometimes… I tell you…
September 18, 2010 § 3 Comments
I jog to exercise.
I jog to be outside and enjoy the weather.
I jog to get my heart pumping.
I jog so I can sweat the toxins out.
I jog because I have to *grumble, grumble, why have I chosen this as my preferred way of exercising?*.
I jog to shake my bad mood off.
I jog because I’m happy.
I jog so I can fulfill my 2006 resolution to run a 5K race.
I jog to clear my head.
I jog so I can witness the gradual change of the seasons without it creeping up on me a few weeks before winter.
I jog to feel the wind in my face.
I jog because it’s good for you.
I jog because, no matter which of the aforementioned reasons got me out there, it puts a smile on my face.
September 14, 2010 § 3 Comments
Love. It’s tough. How many songs, how many movies, TV shows, books, and paintings and poems have been inspired by the wrenching feeling that comes with rejection, with the feelings of unrequited – even requited! – love? Enough to realize that no matter how much experience one has (whether you met your significant other in high school or were spit out the other end of the dating machine), we all feel like we know what it’s about. Love. What the fuck is that shit all about?
Love is awesome. The love you feel from your family is essential. The love of friends adds spice to your life. But the love from a significant other is a different beast. When done right, love can leave your heart feeling physically squished at happy or sad times, make you do/say/try things you never thought you would, and leave you generally feeling like you’re walking underneath a sunbeam. Many claim (and I stand firmly behind them) that family and friends come first. Whether you like it or not, they are the foundation of your personality. So what of significant others then? Everyone these days is happy to point out that we don’t NEED a significant other. We are just happy to have someone along for the ride. But I have problems with this need/want business, especially where dating is concerned.
It’s not so much that I disagree with the need/want difference, because I am a self-sufficient career girl. I make my own money, pay my own rent, have my own car, and the shoes on my feet baby, I BOUGHT THEM. Whatever. I have problems with how confused this shift has left everybody. We are supposed to be open-minded when we’re “OUT THERE” (you know, in the wild jungles of single life with the other untamed, growling, beast-like singletons), yet we’re not supposed to settle. But you know what I said about not settling? Yeah you can’t be too picky either! And like if you don’t feel chemistry, maybe it’s because you’re being too picky, and you can’t muster any attraction to this person because you’re thinking of an ideal person that doesn’t exist in real life? But don’t think about going out there without having an idea of what it is your looking for, but like you know bring it down a notch. Be willing to compromise on what you want, but you need to have definite dealbreakers. But like so when you have dealbreakers you should re-evaluate them to see if you’re being unreasonable, you know like picky? You know what I mean? You have to put yourself out there, try all avenues, but don’t be desperate going everywhere looking for a guy you know? Maybe you’re not trying enough? Or maybe you’re trying too much? It’s enough to leave you dizzy.
Maybe we should just stop the insanity, and agree that LOVE is not governed by a definite set of rules that, if followed exactly, will give the same result every time. It’s about letting the chips fall on the table and knowing what to do with them. You meet someone you are attracted to (is it too much to ask that I want to kiss the guy? IS IT?!), who shares certain fundamental values with you (like when Monica and Richard taught us a bit about the desire to have kids), and who’s willing to make compromises along with the compromises you make to be together and make the journey of this mad-ass world together. The end.